It is the end of May and I can barely put into words how I feel. Just like last month, I have not been in the mood to write, but again, I wanted to keep up with my writing goal for the year. I get a nice little spark and in the midst of writing down my thoughts, I instantly get bored or tired. I am currently sitting on three pieces because my spark just isn’t there (and they have the makings of being good pieces too).
It is Day 82 of the quarantine, and like you I am fed up. I had plans for my year and it all went kaput because of the pandemic. My 20s is on its last leg and I am pretty sure it will be spent in the house. I don’t trust outside, and I don’t trust that people will be considerate and cautious enough for safe traveling.
Like in the last post about the quarantine, I mentioned paying attention to my health. Since February, I unknowingly lost 16 pounds. Outside of still having my job, that has probably been the best personal news I had in the last few months. Weight has been a struggle my whole life, so to lose that amount of weight without really trying was inspiration for me to keep going.
Honesty: I’m Effie Tired
Given the current climate, I think we all feel great heaviness and depletion. It is hard to show up for work let alone yourself. Dealing with pandemic is now compounded by this in-your-face moment of police brutality and social inequality. We (“the Blacks”) just want to be free. We just want to be equal. Man, we just want to be able to live our lives without constant harassment or looking over our shoulders because someone is minding OUR business and wants to disturb OUR peace.
People are protesting, rioting and looting (primarily folks looking to take advantage and cause chaos). As a few people in the streets said, “we are angry, we are frustrated”. The rioting and protesting, done by people whose intentions are pure, is their expression of exhaustion. From the time we are born, we have to be on guard. Folks are tired, and I am tired.
Protect Your Peace
Look, if you can help it, disconnect and watch or listen to something good. That’s all I got.